When I think of the word uncomfortable, it brings to mind feelings of uncertainty, unease and an urge to run. While running was not something I intended to do, I certainly thought about . The reason I didn’t run was due to my overriding urge to learn and grow as a professional. Also, the fact that at SSC I could see, feel and hear the history of the place though the children’s eyes, family engagement and the conversations I had with the educators. I have to say the place intrigued me as it wasn’t like anywhere, I’d worked before. During my first few weeks at SSC, I felt like a fish out of water, looking and gasping for safety, but loving the view around me. I wasn’t out of my depth, but I felt exhilarated but also overwhelmed by the work ahead. On reflection people would say I like a challenge, I didn’t see the work ahead as a challenge though, more like a journey of experience and learning. My first new experience was working with a diverse range of children, families and educators from various socioeconomic backgrounds, that spoke languages other than English, refugee families, Indigenous families as well as families with diverse and complex structures. These extreme diversities gave me a source of strength, which was due to my admiration for those that had courage to leave their home country, just as I had 10 years ago. My whole reason for joining SSC was to make a difference, but what did that mean and how could I make a difference to children who had already experienced intense trauma in their first years of life, often as a result of domestic and family violence or through war. The vision of heroism slowly disappeared, but I had no doubt that the paths I had taken in my professional career over the last 20 years had led me here, I felt it in my mind and heart.
Working with people with diverse beliefs, attitudes, practices, perceptions and understandings, was something I hadn’t given much thought to; however, it was giving me cause for concern. How could I pass on good practice when there was so many misconceptions and inconsistencies. While I tried to understand why this was, I turned to what guided my practice, surprisingly not the NQF, but the rights and needs of the children and families who walked through our doors everyday. I was constantly troubled when I drove home every night, was I being unconsciously bias of what I believed to be inconsistencies or bad practice? I had to think about this! In the back of mind, I also thought of the educators and how they needed to feel empowered to make decisions based on their ideas of good practice but support them to make informed choices. A quote from Ann Pelo came to my mind “Develop a Community of Practice, a gathering of like-minded companions. Linger in complexity; in tradition. Learn from each other what is necessary and provocative.” As I said, the complex path I had walked to get here was for a reason. While my colleagues had a history, so had I. I knew I could use this history to establish connections and relationships at SSC. Building relationships takes time and as I sat back and pondered on my future at SSC, time was something I hoped would be on my side. Three weeks in and I was feeling invigorated by this new outlook but wasn’t anticipating a letter saying we would be assessed on the very practices I was questioning everyday. My first reaction was to breath, pull myself into reality, then two words came to mind ‘holy cow’ As Carla Rinaldi said I had to ‘think of the environment not as a shell but as a skin, how does it change with those in it? How is it nourished?’ In other words, I had to get to know the ethical complexities of the educators and also that of the leadership team. I needed to embrace complexity and its companion, uncertainty.