When asked for one piece of advice when it comes to leadership it is easy for me to respond with bring “human kindness” into your service when working alongside others. After having many conversations with other leaders, I often hear that they put on their leadership hat as they walk into their workplace and have been reminded by their managers that we can’t be “too friendly” with other colleagues. Why is this? Now I understand that when you go to work the priority is children and our work alongside each other is grounded by this belief. Aren’t we after all professional enough to not blur the lines of accountability when being around and leading other adults, we should however show a level of friendliness and kindness? Being kind, shouldn’t be labelled as being soft or too caring, reflecting on this what leader would want to be seen as uncaring or hard faced? In such a demanding and complex role, leaders are held accountable for the shortfalls, such as when getting below par in a recent A&R process, or when managing staff. Leaders are increasingly being held accountable and often under threat of retaining their organisational position, so why would leaders want to add to this burden of being uncaring or unkind to those they want to bring on the bus. I believe there are considerations when leading others
Be Empathetic towards others. Show concern and offer support.
We need leaders as human “beings” and not human “doings” while there are many tasks to complete as a leader, however priority is the team. Lend a hand, share the challenges. When your team see that you are willing to do their work, then they see you as a good leader. There shouldn't be barriers such as an office door between you and the team. Now more than ever leaders and their teams are going to benefit from a stronger focus on being more kind and caring as we:
Enable deep connection and bring kindness into your service. This takes courage because usually leadership is about getting the job done. It requires trust in each other, your integrity must be real while being perceived by others to be real, it involves showing vulnerability. An example of this is the New Zealand Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern bringing such humanness to her leadership. This enabled a deep global and local connection during a major crisis. Create a place of deep emotion. When you acknowledge your own emotion as a leader, you dismiss the belief that “professionalism” requires you to be business-like and instead recognise that being human and bringing kindness means being comfortable with emotion. This enables a deeper connection with your team. Just as we have seen Jacinda Ardern demonstrate, there can be a place for strong emotions in a leader and within a workplace. This is what brings us together to create a common purpose. It is what makes us feel like we belong and be inspired to get things done. Kindness is not soft, it’s about being transparent. Kindness means being open and honest, showing genuine respect and care and it is not about just being nice. Through my studies on transformative leadership I came across the “nice mantra: N = Nothing I= In me C = Cares E =Enough to tell you the truth! Instead, I’ll tell you what you want to hear, need to hear and I will hold the truth to myself or tell it to others behind your back! What this means is a passive culture of people just being nice and actually limiting connection and a positive team climate. I recently spent time with my team telling them that “I really want to move us forward, however I’m going to have to be really honest with you, for us to get where we want to be" Kindness is about giving honest feedback, having the conversations you really need to have for all of you to perform at your best and “be” at your best. Most people would rather you be honest than not, it's not about trying to hurt others it’s about progressing through kindness. Lastly equality. Consider re-framing and repositioning the hierarchy within the service. Without your team, there would be no need for leaders. See equality in your acts of kindness and humility. Kindness costs nothing, caring about the team is everything. We need to care like we care for our ourselves. I suppose we could call it selfless leadership 💗There is a lot to consider as you decide to shift away from the focus either on the task or the people. When you feel like you matter, you feel significant and will no doubt perform at your best, which ultimately benefits children and families. Take your human kindness to your workplace tomorrow and I’m sure you will see a huge difference.